


Geoff the Babysitter

by Lumoa



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Christmas, Everyone is itty bitty, F/M, Gen, Kids AU, except for Geoff, kind of, who has to be the adult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 14:38:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumoa/pseuds/Lumoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Griffon asks Geoff to watch fives kids for her while she handles an emergency. Geoff isn't exactly up for the task. Achievement Hunter kids AU!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Geoff the Babysitter

Honestly agreeing to this was probably one of the stupidest fucking mistakes Geoff had ever made. 

Four little boys stood around him, staring up at him curiously. Geoff vaguely remembered Griffon telling him their names before rushing off to god knows where.  
One of the shorter boys, a kid with curly brown hair began to scowl at him. The other three still had similar looks of stupid curiosity stuck on their faces. The seconds ticked by and neither Geoff or the kids moved, staring at each other dumbly. 

Ok, to back things up a little Geoff honestly had no fucking clue who these kids were. Griffon, his girlfriend, had a babysitting job and apparently today's kids were these four little rugrats. Out of the blue he had gotten a frantic text from Griffon asking him to come to the mall and help her out. Thinking that she was being harassed or something, Geoff had speedily driven over. However when he had arrived Griffon hastily dumped these kids on him and rushed off shouting something about a friend emergency or something.  
Thus arriving at the current moment in time. 

"You're stupid," the curly haired brat said. 

Geoff's gaze snapped back to him, "What did you just say to me?" He asked incredulously. 

"I said you're stupid. I want Griffon. Where's Griffon?" His face began to twist up as if he was going to cry. Frantically Geoff stooped down and gave him his biggest and fakest smile.

"I'm Geoff, Griffon's boyfriend. Griffon had to take of some things so I'm going to be in charge until she comes back."

"Did Griffon leave us?" The slightly taller kid spoke up. Geoff was a little surprised to hear an English accent in his voice but brushed it off.

"No, like I said she's coming back."

"My mom said we weren't supposed to stay with strangers," another one of the kids spoke up in a slightly halting tone. 

"I'm not a stranger. I know Griffon. Therefore I know you...kind of. What are your names again?" Geoff asked.

"I'm Jack," the kid said, pointing to himself, "and that's Gavin," the British kid, "Michael," Mr. Scowly-Pants, "and that's Ryan and Edgar." Jack pointed to the last kid who was holding a stuffed cow to his chest. Geoff couldn't help but grimace, the cow looking pretty fucking creepy. It's glassy eyes stared out blankly and it looked really old and dirty.

"And Ray is over there." Jack pointed again and Geoff's head snapped around to see another trying to slide down the railing on the stairs leading to the second floor of the mall. How the hell did he miss one?

"Ray! Get down from there!" Geoff's voice broke as he shouted but Ray heard him well enough. A soft 'awwww' was heard and then Ray came trudging down the stairs, pouting. Geoff grabbed his hand, now feeling really nervous about this. Griffon had left him with five kids? How the hell could she manage five kids at once? 

"Geoff, I wanna go play!" Gavin grabbed onto Geoff's other hand and pulled. 

"No, I want to go look at toys!" Ryan whacked Gavin with his stuffed cow, Edgar if Geoff was correct.

"You're all dumb, we should go see the giant Christmas tree with the roses on it!" Ray said.

Geoff was slightly confused for a moment before realization dawned on him, "You mean the poinsettias?" 

"Pointwhatyas?" 

"Pointsettias Ray. They aren't roses."

"They're red like roses! So they must be roses!" 

"No they aren't Ray they're- you know what, never mind. Sure, they're roses," Geoff sighed. Why had Griffon brought the kids to the mall around Christmas time anyways? There were tons of people milling around shopping, making it that much easier to lose one of the kids in the crowd. Geoff was getting nervous just looking at them, with their shifty gazes and excited movements. Those kids would run off the first chance they got. 

"Why don't we go to the play area?" Geoff picked Gavin's choice, it would be so much easier to watch the kids in that little area rather than losing them among the aisles in the stores. Ryan and Ray made faces at Gavin, who looked at them triumphantly. Ignoring their looks Geoff shepherded them to the play area, telling them to stay together before letting them have at it.

Which was a terrible mistake.

It took them all of five minutes to start wreaking havoc. Geoff had just settled down before the shouting started.

"Ow! Mi-cool!" Gavin was desperately trying to get up on a large (at least to them) soft plastic apple that Michael was sitting atop of. Problem was Michael kept pushing him down with his feet, refusing Gavin access. 

"Michael! Stop that!" Geoff stomped over. To his surprise Michael only stuck his tongue out at him and proceeded to kick Gavin off again. "That's it buddy, off you go," Geoff picked Michael up off the apple, only to get kicked in the face. 

"Ow! Hey!" He let go of Michael and the snotty brat ran off, Gavin right behind him. Geoff rubbed his face, still feeling the sting of the size 7 sneakers on his face. 

"Hey, you!"

"What now?" Geoff swung around to see a displeased mall employ glaring at him.

"Is that your child?" He gestured and Geoff looked around to see Jack sitting behind a large plastic storybook, a face of intense concentration. 

"Kind of..." Geoff frowned.

"He's defacing mall property. I hope you realize if that doesn't come off you're paying for it." 

"What?" Geoff raced around, closing his eyes and groaning when he realized Jack had somehow gotten his hands on a black sharpie and was now scrawling his name, JAK, onto the side of the book several times. 

"Yaaay!" Jack said, finishing the last letter of his name once again. Geoff grabbed the sharpie from him and Jack looked up, shocked and sad.

"That's mine!" Jack jumped up and stomped his foot.

"Yea, well now it's mine. You aren't supposed to deface mall property!" Geoff snapped.

"What's that?" Jack frowned. Geoff resisted the urge to groan again, damn kids and their limited vocabulary. 

When it became obvious to Jack that Geoff wasn't going to give him back the sharpie, he ran off. Now officially worried, Geoff scanned the play area for the rest of the kids. His gaze landed on Ryan, who was being quiet and simply staring at his stuffed animal who he had placed underneath the little bridge that had been put into the play area for kids to crawl over.

"Hey Ryan, watcha doing bud?" Geoff asked hesitantly.

"Edgar's in the hole," Ryan answered promptly. 

"Edgars what now?"

"In the hole." 

"Oh..." Geoff shifted uncomfortably, "Do you know where everyone else is?" 

Ryan shrugged, "Jack's over there and Ray wanted to look at the rose tree so he took Michael and Gavin with him because you said to stay together."  
"Ray did what?!" Geoff's voice cracked again. He looked around frantically, trying to catch a glimpse of the other three. All he saw was Jack building a house out of little Lego blocks. "Shit! Ryan get your cow-"

"Edgar."

"Whatever! And let's go!" He grabbed Ryan's hand and Ryan grabbed Edgar's hoof. Geoff quickly grabbed Jack by the other hand, ignoring the complaints of both children and began to search for the other three kids. They couldn't have gotten far, right? They were short, their stubby legs couldn't have carried them far!

Although maybe they had. A chance glance up revealed Gavin, Ray, and Michael looking down at them from behind the glass panes on the second floor and laughing. Geoff stopped short and glared furiously at them. They stopped laughing for a moment before Gavin shouted, "Let's go lads!" and they ran away. 

"Goddamnit!" Geoff dragged Ryan and Jack behind him, bulleting up the stairs and in the direction the three boys had run off to. He half expected to round the corner and see them scampering into one of the department stores. But when Geoff finally did make it around, he screeched to a halt. Ray, Michael, and Gavin were standing there, all three looking up in awe at something. Geoff blinked and looked up to see a surprised Santa standing there. 

Oh. That's right. There was some sort of take a picture with Santa thing going on in the mall. Since Geoff hadn't gone in years he had forgotten about it. 

"Santa!" Ryan and Jack squealed, taking advantage of Geoff's momentary lapse and breaking free of him. They hustled up to stand with the other boys, smiling widely at the Santa.  
"Hohohello boys!" The Santa regained his composure and beamed down at them. "Have you come to tell me what you want for Christmas?"  
Immediately all five children began talking at once.

"A stuffed chicken!" Ryan held up Edgar, "For Edgar to be friends with!"

"A hundred bajillion roses!" 

"More Legos!" Jack shouted. 

"New games! And toys! And gold!" 

"I want Gavin to never be able to speak again!" 

"Mi-cool!" Gavin pouted. 

"Hey guys! Cool it! Not all at once!" Geoff said. 

All five kids turned to look at Geoff and then Gavin said, "We should all get a picture together with Santa!" 

"And then Griffon can see what good kids we've been!" Ray pumped his fists into the air. 

"First off that makes absolutely no sense," Geoff said, "and second you have not been good kids!" 

"Yes we have stupid, come on!" Michael got behind Geoff and began pushing at him while the rest pulled as hard as they could. Feeling slightly baffled Geoff followed them and a laughing Santa to the little Christmas area filled with fake snow. 

Santa plopped himself down on the big red chair and the rest of the kids quickly hauled themselves up and arranged themselves around him. Geoff stood there confused until one of the elves ushered him into the photo.

"Smile!" The light flashed and Geoff blinked as the kids shouted 'THANK YOU!' at Santa and ran off to the end of the area where a pretty girl elf was handing out free candy canes.  
"Wait, what just happened?"

_____________________________________________________________________________

When Griffon finally came back, almost an hour later Geoff had the kids sitting down and playing relatively nicely in the play area now. Michael and Ryan would occasionally throw something at one of the others, and Ray would throw back, but other than that it was kind of peaceful.

"Hey, sorry for bailing on you like that. Burnie needed my help with something. So, how's it going?" Griffon plopped down next to him.

"Did you know these kids are fucking little monsters?" Geoff told her, deadpanned. 

"Noooo, come on their little sweeties!" 

"Maybe to you! I had to spend almost a full hour running these kids down throughout the mall, and spent twenty-five bucks on a Santa picture!" 

"You took a picture with Santa? Without me?" 

Wordlessly Geoff handed her the picture. Griffon took a look, and then started laughing.

"It's not funny!"

"Oh yes it is! Look at you! You look so frazzled and confused!" She giggled. 

Geoff sighed and put his face into his hands. Griffon, still laughing, patted him on the back slightly sympathetically. Surprised by the sounds of Griffon's laugh, the rest of the kids looked over, saw her, and shouted together "GRIFFON!" and ran to give her hugs. 

"Hello! Did you have fun while I was gone?" She asked them.

"Yes!" The chorused together. 

"Griffon," Jack pulled on her sleeve, "can Geoff come back and play with us again?" The rest of the boys snickered slightly but kept an innocent look on their faces.

"No!" Geoff said, horrified.

Griffon smirked at him and then leaned back down to talk to Jack, "Maybe," she whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> So little Ray is just stupid and doesn't quite understand the difference between flowers. He didn't see the pointsettias close up so he just thought red flowers = roses.  
> Also posted this on Tumblr under a different title under my username the-spirit-of-christmas  
> If you liked this please leave kudos or a comment telling me if you would like to see more of this AU


End file.
